Understanding the Covenant of Marriage: Biblical Covenants and Mutual Responsibility
I came across a post on social media where a young married man was asking for advice on whether to buy a house in his name only or include his wife on the mortgage. He mentioned his wife is financially irresponsible, often leaving her bank account empty by the end of the month due to frivolous shopping and hefty car payments for a newer model she can't afford. He, on the other hand, has a higher income, drives an older vehicle, doesn't spend much, and has saved enough to make the down payment by himself.
While the situation itself was disheartening, the comments were even more so. "Divorce her" was the most popular suggestion, with many others advising him to protect his financial assets from her.
In today’s world, marriage has often lost its sacredness, being reduced to a mere contract defined by convenience and temporal concerns. The story of this young man is just one example of how the sanctity of marriage is being eroded.
God's plan for marriage, as outlined in the Bible, is that it should be a covenant. In the ancient Hebrew tradition, a covenant, or "berit," was a binding contract with both religious and legal implications. It was the closest, most enduring, and most sacred of all agreements.
These covenants weren’t just about finances; they encompassed mutual responsibility and protection. If one party or their family was under attack, both parties would defend each other. Financial difficulties were not solved by one partner alone; they sought the financial well-being of the entire covenant partnership.
Covenants were taken seriously. They were established in the presence of witnesses, often involving formal ceremonies and sacrifices to underscore their gravity. Specific terms and promises were meticulously outlined, with both parties bound to fulfill their obligations. Failing to uphold the covenant had consequences, sometimes even divine judgment.
Hebrew covenants emphasized reciprocal responsibility. Both parties had duties to fulfill, and there were penalties for failing to meet these responsibilities. Symbolism also played a significant role, often involving the exchange of gifts or the creation of physical symbols to serve as reminders of the covenant's sacred nature.
These covenants shaped the moral and religious life of the ancient Hebrews and were instrumental in their relationship with God.
This mirrors God's intended design for marriage. As Malachi 2:14 states, marriage is meant to be a blood covenant. In a Biblical marriage, a man and a woman become one person, not merely two individuals sharing a household. The concept of separate possessions does not apply, just as one arm does not harm the other, nor does one leg detach itself from the other.
Marriage, as God designed it, is not disposable or conditional. It is a lifelong commitment between two people that no circumstance should overturn. This deep and abiding bond is beautifully exemplified in the relationship between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 20. David honored the covenant promise he had made to Jonathan, demonstrating the enduring nature of a true, God-ordained marriage covenant.
In our era of shifting values towards marriage, it's crucial to reawaken the sacred understanding of this institution. A marriage built on the foundation of a covenant, where both partners embrace mutual responsibility, unwavering commitment, and the sacred bond of becoming one, is a testament to God's divine plan for this holy union.
I challenge you to reflect upon the covenants outlined in the Bible and reevaluate your marriage in comparison to God’s covenant plan. Here are a few examples to get you started:
Noahic Covenant (Genesis 9:8-17): God promised never to destroy the earth again with a flood. The rainbow serves as a reminder of this promise.
Abrahamic Covenant (Genesis 12:1-3, 15:18-21, 17:1-14): God promised to make Abraham a great nation, bless his descendants, and give them the land of Canaan. The sign of this covenant is circumcision.
Mosaic Covenant (Exodus 19-24): This covenant, made through Moses on Mount Sinai, included the Ten Commandments and laws for the Israelites, outlining their responsibilities and God's promise to protect and bless them if they obeyed.
Davidic Covenant (2 Samuel 7:12-16): God promised King David that one of his descendants would establish an eternal kingdom, ultimately fulfilled in Jesus Christ.
New Covenant (Jeremiah 31:31-34): Prophesied a future covenant written on hearts, realized through Jesus Christ, offering forgiveness and a personal relationship with God.
Covenant with the Patriarchs (Genesis 35:9-15): Reaffirmed God's promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to give them the land of Canaan as an everlasting possession.
Covenant of Salt (Numbers 18:19, 2 Chronicles 13:5): Symbolized God's enduring commitment and faithfulness.
Covenant with the Levites (Malachi 2:4-5): Designated the tribe of Levi as priests to serve in the temple and maintain God's law.
These Biblical covenants illustrate God's faithfulness and provide valuable lessons about the nature of covenants and the responsibilities that come with them. How can you apply them to your personal relationships? Reflect on these covenants and strive to embody their principles in your own marriage.
About the Authors:
The majority of the articles on this page are the collective works of Kevin and Jennifer Lanham. They operate Veal Station Ministries, Veal Station Market, and Amish Heart together, combining their expertise in various fields. Both are practicing Biblical Marriage and Family Counselors. Kevin brings a wealth of training and ministerial experience from a wide range of Biblical denominations and has studied through multiple seminaries, including Dallas Theological Seminary, The Master's Seminary, Nations University, and The Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Jennifer holds several Biblical and Biblical Counseling certifications and is a knowledgeable and experienced aromatherapist and medical massage therapist with a nursing background.